this broken heart is whole again

Have you ever felt like you've found that one person that you're meant to be with??? Like your soul mate has finally come to you??? That's how he makes me feel...like with him by my side, I'll never have another worry in the world...It's weird that after this short period of time I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him...and I plan to...Guess these aren't thoughts from a broken heart...I want to give him all of me...I can't describe the way I love him, but I do...I've never cared about one person this much...he really does complete me...he filled a hole that I didn't know existed until now and I truly do want to spend my forever with him...{{as i cry}}

DRAKE IS THE SHIT...GET OVER IT

you know what i hate...when people say that drake is over-hyped or overrated...1) you're contributing to him being over-hyped by continuing to talk about him and 2) until you've really just listened to his music, you're not allowed to comment on his new found celebrity...he's hyped up because he's the shit...don't hate...stop HEARING his music "you the fuckin best" and start LISTENING to it "why do i feel so alone, like everybody passin through the studio is in character as if they actin out a movie role, talkin bullshit as if it was for you to know and i don't have the heart to give these bitch niggas the cue to go" keep listening...go further back............"you can't just love me like they do, i need someone special in you...i know that out there there's a few see i've been searchin i don't know what to do...can you help me??? (special) by that i mean that you gon hold me down (special) cuz you never know why people stick around (special) a girl i can love that sees nothin wrong with gettin used to me...and yo, my name aint changed but i'm far from the man that i used to be"and if you haven't got it by now..... "i float high don't try and cut my water wings...i'm still myself, suicide bars i kill myself...charge it to the game i bill myself and don't feel yall but i feel myself...antidote tell em i deserve a mazeltov, i'm rappin like a shepherd with the muzzle off....i'm next to blow pause and i can hear the critics talking over the applause...yah i tried to tell em future let em know, send the haters all my love, x and o...i got a black box where suggestions go, but i don't really give a fuck it's prolly best you know...my reality is brighter than ya dreams are i gotcha dream girl ridin in ya dream car yah and the visual is stunnin i hope they document what i'm becomin...CONGRATULATIONS" don't be mad cuz his shit is hot...

{{SIDENOTE}}
the new thing is to compare him to weezy..."is drake better than weezy???" there's no comparison...not because there's an answer to that but because there isn't one...Drake is a new artist...weezy's been in the game for years and even if drake has better lyrics than wayne on some tracks, he can't be better than him until weezy's not in the game anymore...that's like tryin to compare wayne to jay-z...can't be done...

soooo

so i figure that since i haven't blogged in a while i might as well get on it...so, right now, i'm sitting in class BORED out of my MIND!!! that is ridiculous...i should be paying attention...but i have no desire to...i'm so F***ing sick of SCHOOL...but i can't be upset with school...it's MY FAULT...maybe if i'd been on my shit like i should have...then i wouldn't still be in this HELL HOLE!! FUCK!!! I can't wait to run away over the summer...i've decided that it's really not running anymore just taking a break from life and getting my head straight...DRAKE concert on the 8th!!!

Some BS that happened yesterday

"friends"=faux friends, fake people

So, Let me first express my level on anger that I felt yesterday and on into today. ANGRY!!!! GRR!!! that doesn't NEARLY do it but it's definitely a start. So, yesterday was my roommate's 21st birthday and it should have been a great day for her....let's take it back to friday night actually...her and her "friends" went to the party, not together cuz these "friends" left her and her "bff" and went without them...so they are at the party stalking one of her "friends" "boyfriend" and making my roommate angry because this "friend" is upset that "boyfriend" is standing by his other girlfriend and that nigga told this "friend" to move around...APPARENTLY, you're not wifey like you thought and that female is while you REALLY tryin to fight this girl over your "boyfriend" that couldn't give 2 f***s about you...so roommate is upset and the next day this "friend" texted her and asks if "boyfriend" is mad at her and "friend" replies, "no, but i am" and "friend" doesn't understand why...roommate then explains this to her and "friend" continues to talk about "boyfriend"...her apology to roommate was even "well, i'm sorry and i'll do the same for him"...why in the f*** is your apology to me still consisting of talk about him??? APPARENTLY, roommate, she doesn't give a d*** about you...that's pretty much what it looks like...so as the day progresses our plan is for her to take a shot every hour because SMART people know that it takes one hour for one drink to work itself through your body which reduces your "drunkness"...after shot number 1, one of her "friends" tells her that she doesn't need to start drinking until like 4 or 5...seeing as how this "friend" is UNDERAGE and gets drunk to the point that she has to be taken out of the club along with all of her "friends"...so she decides she's not drinking anymore...ok, fine...i told her that when she gets pissy drunk because she doesn't LISTEN, i'm gonna let her take care of herself...oh well...so, these "friends" had planned a surprise party for her at "bff's" apartment but roommate wanted to invite some more people so we told "bff" and they decided to move the party to our apartment which took the element of surprise away...but cool...so as the day goes on, I slowly become angrier and angrier because roommate is ALWAYS talking soooo much s*** about these "friends" but she cares soooo much about what they think...so javet and i go to the store and buy all this stuff for her party and they don't pitch in ANYTHING...nothing for the alcohol, food...nothing...but yet again, it's whatever...guest are supposed to be arriving at 8:30 for her party since she wanted to go to hoe-fest with her hoe "friends" at 10:00...the first guest arrive and i go into my room to take a shower...when i get out, javet comes in my room and asks if roommate and all her guests left...as we start noticing the missing drink mixers more guests begin to arrive...so javet texts her and someone else answers the text and says she's been kidnapped....so, we're entertaining a few of her guests, giving them drinks so they didn't just WASTE a trip...me, being the FAIRLY angry person that i am sent a PRETTY RUDE text to her phone that said that whoever took her that it was pretty f***ed up...thanks...about 30 minutes later her "bff" sends me a message that said that the plan was to eat and then come over to our apartment but they were still waiting on the food and roommate just came over to look at her cake and they were coming back!!! i responded with "it's whatever" and i don't know if she was trying to be smart with me but she was like "yeah, it is"...APPARENTLY this broad doesn't know who she's dealing with...but trying to remain as NICE as possible i was like "the people that she invited already left so yall can just stay...thanks" and she calls me...APPARENTLY i said all that i had to say which is why i didn't answer the phone...(sidebar: roommate DOESN'T have a car so, why would someone come and get her to go look at a f***ing cake that she didn't even know about??? do you know how STUPID that sounds??? APPARENTLY you take javet and i for a fool cuz if that were in fact the case, why would you already tell javet that you're bringing the cake and decorations to our apartment??? and if that were INDEED the case, why would you take the drink mixers if your plan was to come back??? THEY ARE ALL STUPID PEOPLE) so this all happens about 9:50ish...so at 10:30, i come back to my room to talk on the phone for a few minutes...roommate is here PISSY drunk, NOT with her "friends" but with "boyfriend" and his frat brother...WHERE the F*** are these "friends" and why aren't they with her...in the course of an HOUR she got drunk to a point where she said that she couldn't even see...GOOD JOB!!! don't even worry about the stuff that you pulled now...OH WELL...hope your "friends" can take you to and from school...cuz it won't be me and it won't be javet...SORRY FOR YOU!!!

gay twitter

so i decided to get on the bandwagon and get a twitter account...unfortunately, i have yet to see the point of it...it's pretty much gay to me...lol...and maybe that's just cuz i don't know how to work it or i don't have any friends to tweet...wait, i do...mictrotty!!! i'm gonna go tweet him and see if it becomes fun...lol...tell you the outcome later

this bitch is funny

So, I wonder if this broad is serious. Does she really think that i want him or something??? I'm gonna hope that the answer to that is no but she trippin off somethin...Oh, I got it...her nigga want me and she intimidated...she must be, escorting him to the vending machine cuz he walkin past me, and putting her arm around him as soon as I walk in the room...She trippin, BYE!!! i don't want that boy despite what you think boo boo...I know i'm the prettiest girl to look his direction since well, NEVER, but don't be scared that ima take your dude cuz if i wanted him, he woulda been took by now...thank you and have a good day!!!

Sincerely,

Ms. Will take your man

not good with rejection

So, this is what it is. I don't take rejection well. I am what lots people may refer to as "spoiled" and all i know is how to get my way, so this current predicament I am definitely NOT liking very much...I see now that pride is kinda hurt...Kim always gets what she wants...so it seems that I'll have to work a little harder...The kinda hard that puts me in a good position...I've already said that I have no problem with the situation especially now that I know where we stand...but this shit is ridiculous...I don't know if I'm trippin cuz I'm not used to being rejected or cuz i'm really just hurt...true enough, my feelings were genuine...but i can't get over this...oh well, i could say move on to the next, but i think i really wanted him...he was nice and sweet and all those GOOD things...and i'm so used to ASSHOLES that I can barely tell what a nice guy is anymore...that's what i'm looking for...a nice guy who can put me in my place every now and then...YES!!! Either he's just a nice guy or he's gay...and i would hope it's not the latter...

~i'm not tryin to be varsity, i just wanna start out on freshmen a~

Breakdown

Maybe I just needed something or someone to latch on to and maybe that someone was you. However those feelings weren't reciprocated and I'm not sure if that hurt me or my pride but I most nearly believe that I'm the one that got hurt. I'm the one always getting hurt and why is that? Why have I yet again made myself vulnerable to someone to only be let down in the end? It was right. It felt right, like what I was feeling you were as well. But I was wrong, it was wrong. So back to the callous, merciless girl that I once was. I don't want to be this broken-hearted girl anymore but how can I possibly go back to a life before my heart was mangled because I don't remember the last time it was in tact. So where do I go now? It's not you that's done this to me, just the final contributor. You would think that by now these deep-seeded wounds would be healed but I guess this degree of pain can't be fixed with a band aid. The torment HE brought into my life when HE decided that our time together would be shortened was a type of pain I never expected to experience again. I loved him more than I loved myself. I have been sad and lonely since then, bouncing from 1 to 2 to 3 and so on trying to find that type of love, protection and care I felt when I was in his arms. But is seems as though the male psyche doesn't understand the pain that comes with the rejection of you no longer wanting me; this rejection I constantly experience. So I shall put this broken facade back on my face to hide how badly I'm suffering.

Have you???

Have you ever thought of doing something you know in your heart is not right? Something you know would hurt the one person who never hurt you except when he decided to leave. Who knows how he'd feel about this current dilemma that I have so apparently placed myself in. I didn't mean for it to happen like this. My feelings grew overnight. Who knows if this person feels the same. He most nearly doesn't but I would like this friendship to become something more. In my heart, I still love him but I also know that I have to move on to be happy and that's what I plan on doing.

Just another day...but why do i feel this way???

I sit here wondering what it would be like...what we would be like but I already know. Have you ever felt like the life you have belongs to someone else and the life you should have is gone? Your happy ending, your fairy tale snatched from you like a thief in the night. It's but a mere March day, gloomy outside as if the storm is rapidly approaching, but the storm seems to be within; within me, ready to break free. And as these tears fall from my eyes, it begins. I don't know or understand why I feel this way. I can't comprehend or fathom all the emotions I have recently been feeling. This constant hurt, this feeling of neglect, this pain I am experiencing and why? Why does it feel like the more I try to break free from this hell, my mind continues to take me back there. My heart, my soul, my body can't take this anymore.