Breakdown

Maybe I just needed something or someone to latch on to and maybe that someone was you. However those feelings weren't reciprocated and I'm not sure if that hurt me or my pride but I most nearly believe that I'm the one that got hurt. I'm the one always getting hurt and why is that? Why have I yet again made myself vulnerable to someone to only be let down in the end? It was right. It felt right, like what I was feeling you were as well. But I was wrong, it was wrong. So back to the callous, merciless girl that I once was. I don't want to be this broken-hearted girl anymore but how can I possibly go back to a life before my heart was mangled because I don't remember the last time it was in tact. So where do I go now? It's not you that's done this to me, just the final contributor. You would think that by now these deep-seeded wounds would be healed but I guess this degree of pain can't be fixed with a band aid. The torment HE brought into my life when HE decided that our time together would be shortened was a type of pain I never expected to experience again. I loved him more than I loved myself. I have been sad and lonely since then, bouncing from 1 to 2 to 3 and so on trying to find that type of love, protection and care I felt when I was in his arms. But is seems as though the male psyche doesn't understand the pain that comes with the rejection of you no longer wanting me; this rejection I constantly experience. So I shall put this broken facade back on my face to hide how badly I'm suffering.